Well yesterday I spoke too soon about not minding my step mom all that much anymore. It’s funny how right when I say that she’s gaining my respect she ruins it by being a micro-managing bitch. But I won’t get into that now because I don’t want to waste another entry on my step mom. Nothing with the word “mother” has a very positive review in my books right now. Mother, Grandmother and step-mother are all too much too handle. Why doesn’t any grown woman (that I’ve met) understand that she was once a teenager too?
Today for breakfast I had a small handful of cashews, which was about 80 calories. For lunch I had Cherry tomatoes (again) which was about 100 calories. I have no idea what I’ll eat for dinner because all we have in this god forsaken house is bread and onions it seems like. But I have about 120 to 220 calories to work with. Preferably 120 because I didn’t exercise too much today. I’ve actually had a pretty annoying day and I’m so happy it’s almost over. I spend the second half of it blind because one of my contacts fell out. For a while I kept the other one in but it was screwing with my brain so I had to take the other one out. Reach your arm out. Looks nice and clear right? When I don’t have my contacts in my hand is blurry; that’s how terrible my eye sight is. I’m sure people thought I was giving them the stink eye, when in reality I just was trying to see them. But I also failed my second government test this week and feel like even more of a failure. Those two things would have been annoying enough, but my step mom really got the ball rolling this morning because she just can’t let people do their own thing. She has to have everything her way and can’t let anyone do their own thing. I know I said I would talk about her again so I’ll leave it at that.
For our final essay in English we’re writing and essay about unanswerable question the human race as struggled with forever. Some of the questions I’m considering are: Does the universe have a purpose?, what makes life meaningful?, how do you determine right and wrong?, are moral values relative or absolute?, what does it mean to live a good life?, what is it that makes us civilized?, how does wealth corrupt human nature?, how do we determine how far science should go? They’re all awesome questions so it’s really hard for me to decide. I’ll probably just make my dad pick one for me to write about. That way at the end of the year he can read it and we can see if we have the same views about it.
My dad is the only person I like talking about school with. He’s the smartest person I’ve ever met and it seems like he know everything about anything. Just listening to him talk is fun because he really knows what he’s talking about. He practically reads a new book every other week and he takes encyclopedias to bed with him and reads them on the toilet. It honestly amazes me and I’m so jealous that he has the patience to learn all that. Not only does he learn facts about things, he learns how to do things. Sculpting, woodcarving, sailing, kayaking, biking, uni-cycling, acupuncture…. I could go on and on.
Heather is still bothering me with her boy problems. She gives me the same speech multiple times when we hang out. She’s started to do that less often and I think it’s because now instead of pretending to feel bad for her, I’m kind of taking the guys side. She says things like “I’m so terrible” and “I’m an [attention whore]”. And it just makes me crazy that she says stuff like that and doesn’t change it. It’s not a good thing to be an attention whore and I want to say that, but as much as I disagree with her I’m not going to be rude. As much as I want to I won’t scream at her, “GOD DAMN IT. JUST STOP TREATING GUYS LIKE TOYS! THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO! AND QUIT FLIRTING WITH ABSOLUTELY EVERYBODY AND THEN COMPLAING THAT THEY LIKE YOU!” I want to say that…. But I won’t. She really does though. She even admittedly flirts with girls sometimes and she’s straight. It’s like, why can you not see that your causing all your own problems? Don’t misunderstand me; I love her to absolute death and that’s why I put up with all this. It’s just getting old ya know?
Well I guess I’ve subjected you to enough girl talk for today. 99% of this isn’t even about anorexia but I hope people enjoy reading it anyway. Thanks for reading!
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