Fell off the face of the earth for a while

Hey there, I'm back.  If anyone reads these everyday, sorry for not writing for a couple days.  I was having a "I hate my life" phase of sleeping and eating for like three days...  The scale said 123 this morning.  I'm miserable and depressed and pushing everybody away again.  I just feel so hopeless, and unloved, and just feel like a burdon to everybody.  Today it was hell trying to get my dad to buy me two pairs of shoes they were like super cheap on sale target shoes and I swear I haven't bought shoes in a year.  My shoes at home are all disgusting worn down and holy and I was allowed to get two pairs of flats.  I'm grateful don't get me wrong, but I don't ask for a lot from him.  The only other thing I've really been adamant about since I started living at his house is getting a car.  And even that I'm paying him back for most of it. I would have to pay him back for all of it, but he spent money on my older brother, so he's making it fair by partially helping with a car.
I haven't been hanging out with Heather as much as we used to.  She's too busy hanging out with some rich guy that likes to buy her things I guess.  But if you ask it's, "He won't leave me alone! I've been very clear with him that I just want to be friends!"  And whenever I see her around him, or any guy for that matter, all she does is flirt, so I'm not very inclined to believe her.  I still love her to death though.  Ultimately it's her choice who she hangs out with, and she just keeps choosing to hang out with him.  I'm not really mad about it, she's a grown up and can hang out with whomever she wants.  I'm more sad and somewhat heartbroken about it.  It just kind of hurts when it seems like one of the only people that means anything to me doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. And even when we are hanging out she's always on her iphone doing something else not really paying attention to the conversation.  I'm just miserable and feeling sorry for myslef. 
Today I ate French Toast and eggs.  I just want to get high and go back to sleep...  I don't feel happy at all. 
Yesterday was the worst easter I've ever had in my life.  I just spent it by myself, while my dad was on call, and my mom (who i wouldn't want to talk to anyway) is in India, waiting for Heather to text me back while I ate myself to sickness.  I hope everyone has more love floating around their lives than in mine.