I cheated yesterday ( ate a salad) cheated this morning ( made myself a big breakfast, and just in general am a failure at sticking to things. The only way I'll be able to lose weight is if I quit smoking weed for a while. Or only ONLY smoke right before bed. Whoever said weed destroys anorexia is completely right. It just sucks for me because I smoke so much. Smoking enhances so many things in my life.. In fact it enhances most things. It isn't like alcohol at all for me. I rarely drink and when I do I don't drink much ( unless it a really really special occasion). I wish I could consume food the way I consume alcohol. And I probably would if it wasn't for the ganja. When I'm sober I can say no to food and eat exactly how I want to; healthy and small amounts. When I smoke, my brain tells it's self "you deserve this. Think of how other people eat." Or, "just one more wont make a difference". And the second I sober up I realize once again how disgusting and fat I am. That is honestly the one and only downside weed has for me and it wouldn't even be a downside if I didn't have an eating disorder. It will probably be hard not to smoke during the day especially since I'm so used to doing that.
I heard if you can starve for about four days it get much easier after because you adjust to eating small amounts and your appetite goes away. If anyone has advice about anything that will push me back into the swing of things that would be awesome. Thanks!
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