I like looking at normal thinspo as much as the next person I suppose, but I find another equally if not more effective form of thinspo is looking around me at people I actually know and either thinking “that girls muffin has my entire days worth of calories in it.” Or, “of course they’re eating junk food and going out for ice cream. They’re overweight and don’t even care”. That in itself can be awesome thinspo because when I see heavy people the last thing I want to do is eat and be like that. Notice I don’t call them fat. That’s a word I reserve for myself and myself only... Or gross. Sometimes I find that looking at overweight people is better thinspo than looking at skinny people, because seeing people skinnier than me get discouraging but seeing people heavier than me makes me think “I have way more control than them, I’m gonna show off in my own head and exercise my control even more.”
But I’ll admit there is one person who’s my “in person” skinny thinspiration, and that is my best friend. She used to be anorexic, and before we really even met I knew. We’ve only known each other since about April, but we act like we’ve known each other our whole lives. We also look similar and like convincing people we’re sisters, which really isn’t hard at all. She’s very recovered though, which is good for her and I so I don’t feel even more inadequate than I already do. She’s tall thin and absolutely beautiful. Guys go crazy for her which is another thing about her jealous of… although she’s the biggest flirt ever and I hardly talk to guys so that’s probably a contributing factor. She eats normally now which makes me feel good about myself, but she still constantly refers to herself as fat. I can’t tell anymore if it’s because she’s always fishing for compliments, or if she actually believes it. But when she calls herself fat it enforces in my head that I’m obese if she’s fat. It works I guess, but for the most part I still think looking at fat people works better. Just focusing on what they’re eating and how they’re eating it… I don’t it might not work for everybody but it works for me.
Today I had a 250 calorie breakfast of Old World Italian bread, jelly, cream cheese, and grapefruit. I had a 100 calorie lunch of 20 cherry tomatoes, and I don’t plan on eating dinner but I guess I have 150 calories to work with. I know I’ll be happier if I leave my calorie intake at 350 though, so I guess that 150 calories is for a “work famish emergency” or something, but otherwise I’ll be just drinking my black coffee for energy. For a workout today I didn’t do anything special. Just my normal weights class and work are today’s exercise I suppose. According to my calorie calculator those together burn about 822 calories so I’m in the clear.
As for the rest of my day, nothing too interesting or notable happened. I have a new ana buddy I think, but we’ve only sent about three texts to eachother, and I need someone who will stay on top of it, not someone that isn’t really into it; but I we’ll see, maybe she’ll be an asset to my reaching 80 lbs.
This lady's my thinspo for today :)
This is an expample of what I was talking about earlier...
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