I think I'm going to start trying to not eat after one o'clock. There's just something about dinner I hate. I was going to not eat dinner today, but my stomach was growling so terribly I just had to. No not had to, absolutely desired to is better. My breakfast this morning was a small piece of toast and butter; about 130 calories. My lunch was a delicious apple; 20 cals (?). And my dinner was three ounces of salmon and half an apple; 120 calories. So total I ingested a whopping 270 calories today, but since I just ate that salmon I feel like I'm a fatty. I'm laughing at that word "fatty" right now. It's just a funny word. People have yet to comment on any of my posts :( ah well, it'll happen eventually. For excercise today I did that half hour of weightlifting. Today was cleans which I HATE with a passion. They hurt my arms and I'm bad at them. Then after school I worked out fum about 3:30 to 4:40. That was bad. I have cramps like I'm going to start my period soon, but I think I should have had it by now. My friend, wanted to do ab stuff but there's no way that was happening, so a "friendly" alternative he gave me was putting 20 lbs on my back (i think) and having me run around our school up and down stairs 7 times. It killed my legs (in a good way). We also did a sliding plate excercise that's too hard to explain, and some other arm work outs. Then I walked home which was about a 40-45 minute walk. It's so frustrating to be doing all this work and have hardly anything to show for it. The only things i've noticed are a slightly, SLIGHTLY smaller stomach, and..... yeah that's all.
I'm really getting anxious for summer to come for a few reasons. First of all I'm worried I won't look skinny enough. Second of all I just miss summer so much. Last summer I worked every single day (I'm not exaggerating), got super baked all the time, and just took the most relaxing night time walks by myself... Just listening to atmosphere and starting to think about becoming serious with my eating habits. Last summer is when I met the girl who I would probably have killed myself by now with out. I'm not exaggerating and I still have that desire a lot of the time (When I feel inspired I'll write more about her. I'm surprised I haven't yet). And third of all, I just can not fucking wait to not be in school anymore.
I hate how idiot teachers think they no everything and others go on power trips and seemingly purposely make life miserabe for their students. I hate how hicks at my school, or all hicks. rednecks, and other people like that, are so far behind mentally they think they're ahead. I don't them; i honestly can't think of a single person I hate. I just dislike ignorance, intolerance, racism and many other things that they stand for. A group once spat on my friends car and went on a rant about Obama being a "nigger", because she had an Obama bumper sticker. How do they expect anything good to come from that? This is going to sound extremely hypocritical, but I'm intolerant of intolerance. I hope everyone understands what I mean by that. I also hate how the system "standardizes" everything. Everyone has things they're good at and things they're bad at. It's different for everybody and it makes no sense that we all get tested the same. I'm not saying this because I'm bad in school. I of course could be better, but I know what's going on most of the time. I also don't like how boring it is, how when I am in a class I would enjoy, someone is inevitably always there to ruin it. I just haven't really appreaciated school since elementary school.
I also think that since I talk about people on here I'm going to create fake names for people. My wrestling friend will be Gary, my really close friend will be Heather, my gay friend will be Phill and I suppose anyone else I'll make up when the time comes.
No comments:
Post a Comment